What is a problem, but an opportunity disguised as a stripper having a seizure on your boat?
Tracy Jordan
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.
Oscar Wilde
“And so, like the goat sacrificers and snake oil salesmen before them, a new breed of con man was born, the Search Engine Optimizer. These scammers claim that they can dance the magic dance that will please the Google Gods and make eyeballs rain down upon you.
Do. Not. Trust. Them.”
Derek, via Mat, via merlin
I TRY TO BECOME MORE CYNICAL EVERY DAY, BUT LATELY I JUST CAN’T KEEP UP.
via kaching
I feel bad for the guy who plays the world’s smallest violin. People always think he’s being sarcastic.
Twitter / Sarah Silverman
Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.
Howard Aiken
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
The Dawn, 1881, Friedrich Nietzsche
Determine never to be idle … It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
Thomas Jefferson (via sedulo)
This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: It has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus. Those who despise science and learning are not anti-elitist. They are morally and intellectually slothful people who are secretly envious of the educated and the cultured. And those who prate of spiritual warfare and demons...
Pro Tip: “We’re really close.” means spending the same amount of time on the last 5% as you just did on the first 95%. SHIP IT.
Twitter / Mike Monteiro